for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He shit in the fireplace
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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