we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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