This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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