a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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