Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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