Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My brain says no but my pants say off.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
