And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize