Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
