This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
