i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
