Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
ttyl tear gas
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
tell me about the eggs
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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