her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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