You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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