I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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