Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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