Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.