uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
