i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
