i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
