on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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