Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
