at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wish you could order shots online.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
