She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
