I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
