Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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