I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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