um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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