I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize