that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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