She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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