you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
