There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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