so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
