Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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