I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Is Oprah even human
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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