Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
