I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
