Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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