I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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