I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
