I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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