Sponge bath it is.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
