You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize