So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
