my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
