Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
