Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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