the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
