He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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