Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
