We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
