It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
