I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
