Screwed.edu
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
operation harelip BJ is a go
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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