im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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