she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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