So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
