You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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