Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
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I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
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Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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