Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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