you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
