At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
