doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
