Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i think im in europe. pls send help
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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