Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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