I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
